i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
