Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
