I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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