I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We left the knife in your bed.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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