She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
