why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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