Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
