my shit smells like andre
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
