Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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