If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
