a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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