New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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