A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
