we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
