respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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