If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
