she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My bed smells like the plague
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
