we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
