I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize