Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
