It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
