I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
