my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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