Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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