how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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