You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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