a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
