I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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