remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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