I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize