I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
