I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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