And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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