what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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