I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
