lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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