She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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