Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
