That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
