idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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