I need to stop coming to work sober
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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