three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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