There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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