You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
