ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
