He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
