Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
