Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
