He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
