I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
