It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
