can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
