you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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