I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
