He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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