Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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