this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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