I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
