I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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