Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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