ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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