I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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