Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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