unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My ass is underappreciated
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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